Today was a rough day. I'm still exhausted for no apparent reason, which is not good because I have only a week before I go back to work. But worse than that, I seem to be very aware of my neurostimulator. This morning it kind of freaked me out. I could feel all the wires coming down the sides of my neck and felt like they were just closing in on me. I wanted to rip them out but of course I couldn't. And I'm always aware of the giant battery in my chest. It makes me wonder if I will ever get used to it. I can just feel it in there, pressing against my skin on one side, and my chest muscles on the other. It doesn't inhibit my movement much, but I'm more aware of it when moving that arm, and it does inhibit movement a little bit, which I notice particularly in the shower for some reason or when I try to turn my head really far to the right. I'm not sure if that's something that will change since I'm still healing or if I'm stuck with what I've got. The whole thing freaked me out and I had to take an anti-anxiety pill...glad I have those. I cut back on my painkillers quite a bit this weekend so I bet the increased awareness of everything is due to my nerves not being so de-sensitized by Vicodin. But still, I can't take Vicodin for ever so I'd better get used to this. It's just weird to be so aware of a foreign object that's in your body all the time and you can't get rid of. I should probably try not to think about it too much!