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Monday, June 15, 2009

I Can Feel It

Today was a rough day. I'm still exhausted for no apparent reason, which is not good because I have only a week before I go back to work. But worse than that, I seem to be very aware of my neurostimulator. This morning it kind of freaked me out. I could feel all the wires coming down the sides of my neck and felt like they were just closing in on me. I wanted to rip them out but of course I couldn't. And I'm always aware of the giant battery in my chest. It makes me wonder if I will ever get used to it. I can just feel it in there, pressing against my skin on one side, and my chest muscles on the other. It doesn't inhibit my movement much, but I'm more aware of it when moving that arm, and it does inhibit movement a little bit, which I notice particularly in the shower for some reason or when I try to turn my head really far to the right. I'm not sure if that's something that will change since I'm still healing or if I'm stuck with what I've got. The whole thing freaked me out and I had to take an anti-anxiety pill...glad I have those. I cut back on my painkillers quite a bit this weekend so I bet the increased awareness of everything is due to my nerves not being so de-sensitized by Vicodin. But still, I can't take Vicodin for ever so I'd better get used to this. It's just weird to be so aware of a foreign object that's in your body all the time and you can't get rid of. I should probably try not to think about it too much!

2 comments:

chrissygal said...

please bare with me if you have already talked about this but i have a few questions i hope you could help me with.
1. did your insurance pay for this operation.
2. how did you get your doctors to work with you on this.
3. are you seeing any results yet.
4. how did you know you wanted to do this.
man, i know that is a lot. thank you

Banner said...

Hi Chrissy,

1. Yes my insurance did pay, but because the procedure is not FDA approve, I had to get approval prior to doing it, which was a lengthy process. They request a copy of your medical records from the last few years and have their own team of "experts" go through them. They want to see that you have tried other things and that basically this is your last available option for relief.

2. The doctor I was going to happened to be one of the few that does this type of surgery, so it was something he was familiar with, and they were familiar with the process of working with the insurance to get it approved. I think that's the key...you have to go to someone that already does this. You wouldn't want to be a surgeon's guinea pig. I put a link to my doctor's website on the homepage...his name is Ahmed Elborno.

3. Yes, I am definitely seeing results. I feel so much better. I don't feel like just laying in bed all day anymore! I barely have any pain. Results are pretty immediate after the surgery, which is nice...once the surgical pain wears off, which takes a few days.

4. I knew I wanted to do this because I had tried everything else. I was at wits end. i didn't have a life anymore. And when i tried the nerve blocks and they worked, but only lasted 7-10 days, I knew that I was close to a solution, just not totally there. I needed something that worked like a nerve block, but was more permanent. And that's exactly what the nerve stimulator is.

I'm happy to answer any questions. That's why I am writing this blog...to help people. Please let me know if you have any more.